How does Family Therapy with Dr. Stephanie Fields work?

Your Questions:

Does family therapy work?

Yes it does! It not only works, but it is the quickest way to see change in your child.  It empowers parents to manage their child’s emotional or behavioral issues and to be instrumental in improvement and reduction of symptoms. 

Are we going to be able to manage all the changes required?

Yes you will!  We will work on one or two strategies at a time. You will practice them at home before we add anything new. This will give you time to develop one or two new habits at a time.  At each session, we will discuss how the last strategy assignment went.  If it needs tweaking, we will problem solve until it works well.  We will move on to a new skill or strategy when you are ready.  Each new strategy will help decrease your child’s symptoms and make your family life run more smoothly.

What if we have a different parenting philosophy from you?

It is important to me that you live within your family values.  That said, the strategies and techniques I recommend are those that are supported by the latest research in child development.  Strategies can be modified to be consistent with your family values. 

How does Family Therapy work if parents are amicably divorced, separated or not together? 

This varies depending on the family and the degree to which all parenting figures get along.  I have worked with some families where both parents and their new partners attend sessions and work together for their child’s benefit.  For most separated families however, I have a separate intake session with each parent (and their new partner, if they have one).  I then work with each parent during separate sessions on issues that arise with their child in their own home. 

How does Family Therapy with you work? 

Our first session is with parents only. This is when you will tell me all of your concerns about your child and give me relevant background information.  I will have additional questions for you.  This is the time when you can share private information with me, as your child(ren) will not be there.  At the end of the session I will give you a preliminary idea of how I see your child’s issues, along with a simple assignment.  Parents are often relived that they will be able to enact changes right away.  

Our second session is with both parenting partners (in cases where they are together) and all of the children in the family.  I will review the ‘rules of the room’ with the kids, and then interview each one, oldest to youngest.  

After the interviews are finished, we will start working on the assignment I gave you at the first session, or on the next new strategy for you to try at home. 

What if my child does not cooperate? They do not do well on virtual.

Virtual sessions with me are not very demanding, especially for young children.  After our first interview, I do not require them to sit in front of the screen, or to even say ‘hi’ to me if they don’t want to.  If they don’t want to cooperate with the first interview, that is fine, too.  Parents have already told me their concerns and we can start working on them.  While my interacting with your child is helpful, it is not necessary for diagnosis and treatment.

I prefer that kids who do not want to be on screen remain in the room and play with toys (not electronics) nearby.  This way they can overhear what we are saying.  They will get a preview of what to expect at home, they can ask questions or make comments if they would like, and we can call them over to get their input or teach them a quick lesson.

I have been doing this work virtually since the beginning of covid and am able to get lots of work done quickly with parents in the comfort of their own homes. 

Meeting virtually also allows us some flexibility when one parent is still at work or in another location, but can get online for our session.  

Will you learn enough about my child if they do not cooperate or don’t do well on virtual?

Yes!  Parents generally have the deepest and most comprehensive knowledge of their child and are my best source of diagnostic information.  When I interview children, especially younger children and when our relationship is new, parents nearby often want to chime in with more accurate information.  Young children often are not accurate reporters about their history and past events.  That said, I will learn a lot about your child from their behavior and what they are able to share with me. 

How will my child develop a rapport with you on virtual?

Developing rapport with a child in any setting takes time.  My priority for your family is to resolve the concerns you bring to me as quickly as possible.  In our initial interview, I work to connect with your child(ren) by asking about and showing interest in their lives.  Later, as our work progresses, I will sometimes advise parenting strategies that are not initially popular with children.  Despite this, in the vast majority of cases children come to like and respect me.  They know that I will advocate for them for things they want; that I will tell parents when expectations are too high; that I will cheer their successes; that I will listen respectfully to what they have to say; and that I will be honest with them. 

How do I explain to my child who you are and why we are seeing you?

You can tell your children that “Dr. Stephanie is a doctor who helps parents help their children grow up.”  This is true, and accurately represents how the sessions feel to kids.  

Will I be blamed or judged for my child’s issues?

No!  I know that parents who seek help for their child have been doing their absolute best.  We do not dwell on what was done in the past, and move forward from where you are now.  

How do we get started?

Getting started is easy!  Just contact me with any questions or concerns, or to schedule your first Family Therapy session.